Keeping Up With The Times

A new perspective on things, strike that a broader perspective. Coming to conclusions about stages in life is like searching for determinate endings to some else’s poetry. It is not for you to determine what the poetry means, or what a stage in your life ended up being. It does not end. To close the chapter and to start a new one, a “fresh” start, is like ignoring everything that came before and pretending like it did not happen. What I am coming to believe is that life does not open and close like a book, it opens, and opens and opens, like a life. It grows on itself, it expands, it broadens all that it encompasses.

This is what I am looking for a broader perspective on things.

I want to study my last set of years because I want to learn from it. I want to dissect the body of moments and observe the inner workings once more.  I want to use semi-objective tools to understand the patterns and sequences so that I can manipulate them and come up with a conclusion… of sorts.

It is not a conclusion to factual research, but a conclusion to a theory. Since life is not determinate (in its essence), neither should my mentality. It should change with what comes and what goes. All this talk is superfluous because I am not there yet. I have not come to a decision. 

Observe, challenge, interject, decide, plan, and act. That should be a proper guideline.

It’s so easy to give advice, that you can probably catch yourself guiding other people more than you guide yourself. Instinct/Logic/Reason are usually the sources for advice you give, yet you would ignore logic and reason and suppress your instincts in a situation that involves you.

The phrase “a taste of your own medicine” has a bitter flavor to it. In a more positive spin-off it suggests that you should try out the advice you give. It’s come to that for me. I’ve tried to guide other people for a long time, seldom taking the advice I give. Like a dealer who doesn’t know his own product, I take measure of my goods by the results in others. Now I’m in need of it.

Slight tangent, prayer goes a long way. Feeling truly humble and thankful for things has already impacted something in me. I can’t describe it through words clearer than I can describe it in action. For the first time in a long time I am sure that it means that this is the right direction. That, and taking my own medicine :)

It took longer than 30 minutes for my hand to cramp from writing. I could write reams of dictionary definitions because my mom wanted me to improve my handwriting and vocabulary at the same time. I remember first drafts were turned in on looseleaf paper that was slightly curled at the corners from liters of ink poured all over them. I remember smudges caused by the friction from my hand. I remember the crunchy sound the draft made when my teacher was reading through them. I remember when “text” counjoured up images of the writing itself, and not the medium it was presented on.

I remember writing. More to come.

#Lifeissohard | #firstworldproblems | #whitegirlproblems | #Thingsnotworkingout | #Fuckmylife | #Idon’tgetwhythishappened | #Ishouldhaveknown |#Whydidn’tIseethatbefore

I don’t have a Twitter, but I’m assuming these are some pretty universal hashtag links. At one point or another everyone complains about a choice or the consequences of a choice. And everyone has experienced a #20/20hindsight’sabitch moment. Because of that, almost everyone asks themselves, why didn’t I see that coming?

It’s because you didn’t take Sociology 101.

To me, it’s the closest to perfect representation of how people deal with problems. Take the subject matter. It’s not that hard to comprehend. Pavlov condition, of course! You can practice it by poking the person next to you as your learning it, eliciting controlled responses (especially if they’re ticklish). The subject matter is so easy, right? It’s, “totally, like common sense!”

So why is it that when grades come out, there are people who fail the class? Well, my guess is that when exams came around, it was hard to actively think about those common sense situations, and then apply it to a question/answer. It’s an experience most people can relate to.

20/20 hindsight is like looking at the graded final and slapping your forehead because you knew that answer, but couldn’t remember. Life throws those same problems at you. There is no trick to making life easier, but there are so many ways to make it better.

Take Sociology 101. Learn how to ACTIVELY recognize the obvious, and more importantly, UNDERSTAND why it’s so obvious. So when you take the next exam, or when you deal with the next #FML situation, you’ll slap your forehead before turning in your answer.

I have neglected this page for two weeks now. It has definitely been a part of my escape, so by implication, does that mean I do not need one anymore? I think I still do. College bubble are very sneaky. They seem not to exist, to be transparent, but that is only because they exist on the horizon of your thoughts. They encompass everything that you think is important and that you feel resides in the realm of possibility. But like the horizon, the bubble creates an illusion of infinity. Just as there is something beyond the horizon, there is something beyond the bubble. I urge you to continuously break out of the bubble. It is easier than you think. :)